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Joke of the Day

"Twitter. /twt.r/ (noun) Twit-ur: an omnidirectional toxic sludge pump for the lame and unfunny musings of the imbecilic masses."

"What's the best name for a male dildo-maker? [NSFW] Dick Smith."

"I'm an archaeologist... My life is in ruins."

"I like my women like I like my milk... Rich, white, and 2% fat"

"Before records were invented, people used to say: u sound like an opera singer that keeps repeating himself"

"I was raised by my father.. He's schizophrenic but he's good people."

"I like camping but... it's so in tents"

"The human brain is an amazing organ. It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year, from before you leave the womb, right up until you find religion."

"What did the pulse say to the legume as he left? Lentil next time."

"How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? ""Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"""