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Joke of the Day
"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!"
Next Joke
"Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I'm having lunch behind the couch."
"Why are so many people caucusing for Hillary Clinton... They were inspired by Monica Lewinsky."
"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."
"Last call for me is when my phone is at 10% battery."
"did you hear about the guy with five penises? his pants fit like a glove."
"Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife."
"What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm? A Thundeer"
"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Have an ice day. It's a bad one, I know."
"I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally."