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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip."

"What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke? Yours."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"Kanye West demanded everyone to stand while giving a eulogy, didn't go through with it because Some asshole in a coffin didn't feel like standing."

"Why did the carpenter's wife leave him? He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her."

"Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months? Because the box said 2-4 years!"

"What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb? Did you make that Fermi?"

"I have the attention span of a... Have I ever told you how much I like porn?"

"NOTHING says ""I am batshit, incapable of relationships, bad with money & cannot be trusted"" like colored contact lenses."

"Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ""How do you drive this?"""