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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? Take the S out of safe and the F out of way.."

"The odds of being killed by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067. So if you know 3,748,066 people who haven't been killed by a shark: avoid the ocean."

"I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really did they accept him?"

"if you say ""pumpkin spice latte"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl in yoga pants will appear & tell you all her favorite things about fall."

"Steelers defense, last night."

"You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?"

"Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden? Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice?"

"Difference between a dead squirrel and a dead drummer in the road? http://imgur.com/PKibj The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig."

"What's the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit"

"If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?"