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Joke of the Day

"NOTHING says ""I am batshit, incapable of relationships, bad with money & cannot be trusted"" like colored contact lenses."

"What do you get when you combined a baseball player with a metal alloy? A steel"

"Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker."

"so i was on youtube... and people started making jokes here's the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=V7-XLL3nbYU&feature=fvwp great song too"

"Apostrophes are important. ""I fed the dog"" ""I f'ed the dog"" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it."

"Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night."

"If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side... ...at least you can hide your own Easter Eggs."

"Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid."

"What's the opposite of assault? a pepper."

"What's the deal with lampshades? If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it."