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Joke of the Day

"How did the hillbilly find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying"

"""Hello, Time Warner? I need to speak with someone about setting up local Gotham cable in a secret prison. Yes, I'll hold."" - Bane"

"I do this cool trick when you introduce yourself where I concentrate on literally anything else in the universe except your name."

"What do Mormonism and LSD have in common? Dyslexia"

"Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop? To Test a Mint"

"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"

"Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens? He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!"

"What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? With Twitter you only get 140 characters."

"So I'm banging this chick and she looks back and me and says, ""DADDY I'm CUMMINGGG"".... So I say ""Hi Cumming, I'm Dad""."

"1. Put on red T-shirt. 2. Remember that I need to go to Target today. 3. Take off red T-shirt."