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Joke of the Day

"I do this cool trick when you introduce yourself where I concentrate on literally anything else in the universe except your name."

Next Joke
 
"The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was.... My answer of ""i dont know, about ten dollars?"" was not acceptable."
"What do you call a iPhone 6S when its out of memory? Successful. *if u dont get the joke, successful = six-es-ful*"
"Yo moma is so fat I can see everything behind her"
"TIL that if you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end... You would die."
"What's the difference between a corn husker with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea? One fits before they shuck, the other shits before they fuck."
"What do all rioters have in common? Youth"
"I was in Nigeria browsing Tinder the other day It said ""There are no available girls in your area."" (Thanks Boko Haram)"
"Jack in the box ...is NOT an instruction."
"I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane."