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Joke of the Day
"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"
Next Joke
"This is your brain- *holds out egg* This is your brain on drugs- *puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*"
"(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!"
"I have sloth-like reflexes ""Don't you mean catlike reflexes?"" [several hours later] No"
"The guy I just cut off thinks he's gonna destroy my car with high beams."
"Look ma no friends"
"Hey, did you hear about that Coldplay concert in China? It was all yellow."
"My Dad just had a stairlift installed in the house. Its driving him up the wall."
"I told my physics teacher I had a problem with gravity. But he told me to drop it."
"As I was finishing a round of golf during a lightning storm, I was suddenly struck ...by how peaceful my game was with no one else on the course. I should do this more often!"