1647
Joke of the Day
"How does Peter Pan fly? If someone hit you in the Peter with a Pan, you'd fly too."
Next Joke
"Think I might run a marathon just to prove to myself that I can do something pointless and awful."
"SATAN: I will tempt you into leaving the desert JESUS: Oh yeah I can't wait to get back to the place where everyone hates me and has leprosy"
"A wise man once said that ice on the ground is great. He fell"
"A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night.. and he gets crabs. So, the next day he goes back to complain. And the woman says ""Hey. It was only five dollars. What did you expect? Lobster?"""
"I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight."
"In college, I liked beer more than Girls. A beer can't change its mind after you get its top off. Edit: Thanks, grammar Nazis"
"To make my guests comfortable, I always put a sign in the bathroom that says ""Don't worry, I cleaned, those are permanent stains."""
"Why was Samuel L. Jackson picking up ladies outside of the abortion clinic? Because he's a bad mother fucker."
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea."