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Joke of the Day

"In college, I liked beer more than Girls. A beer can't change its mind after you get its top off. Edit: Thanks, grammar Nazis"

"Interviewer: ""So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Me: ""My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."""

"Why do neutrons shoot through dense material, but get reflected by softer material during Radiography? Have always been curious of this."

"Did you know they were trying to ban MSG? It was called law 13 due to the fact that it abolished savory....I will show myself out."

"How does Shrek describe his sex with Fiona? Medi-Ogre"

"I'm starting an A Capella group with five other ill tempered pedophiles. We're called Six Dicks in A Minor."

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"Why are African Americans called Negroes? Because their dicks grow to their knees. Negro=knee grow"

"What is a horse's favourite sport? Stable tennis!"

"My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else."