148053

Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Donald Trump never asked to have a lentil on his face."

"What do you say to a man with no body and no nose? No body nose."

"Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them..."

"There are hundreds of ways to make a woman happy and only one to make a man happy: LEAVE HIM ALONE."

"Two goldfish are in a tank... One turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive"""

"Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages."

"There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom."

"What presidential candidate currently has a beard? Hillary Clinton."

"How do pirates measure rope? In yarr'ds."