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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay chemist? Homogeneous."

"Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible? Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."

"I'm a vegan and a registered sex offender... When I move into a new neighbourhood, what am I supposed to tell everyone first?"

"PASTOR: and the lord said unto uscan u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that"

"Why did the brother octopi look so alike? They were itentacle twins."

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks having sex? Relative humidity!"

"David had his ID stolen yesterday... So we call him Dav now."

"Did you hear about the dispensary that was selling suppositories? It turns out they were just blowing smoke up everyone's ass."

"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."

"Two old ladies, sat in a cafe eating a teacake. First one says, ""did you come on the bus?"" Second one replies, ""yeah, but I made it out to look like an epileptic fit""."