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Joke of the Day

"welcome to Olive Garden! when you're here, you're family. sit up straight. have you gained weight? why can't you be more like your sister"

Next Joke
 
"What is a missionary's favorite car a convertible"
"What does Bill Cosby have in common with Santa? They both come while you sleep"
"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."
"What does a Triceratops sit on? His Tricerabottom"
"You treat your body like a temple? That's nice. I treat mine like a whorehouse above a liquor store next to a motherfucking Taco Bell."
"I've been tweeting for 10 hours straight...and 3 hours gay."
"You: Knock knock, Me: Who's there?"
"Would you get your phone if you dropped it in a toilet? 1996: eww that's gross 2016: head first without thinking"
"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."