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Joke of the Day

"Paramount is making a movie about a pair of Chinese race car drivers... It's called ""Two Wongs Don't Make a Right"""

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"My new house has special needs It has a re-tarred driveway."
"4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby"
"I buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free."
"I put a couple of t's in my beer last night. I think it made it better."
"How are E.T. and a Mexican immigrant the same? They both steal your bike."
"What do you call a writer who feels like they've been born in the wrong body Transcribe"
"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."
"What is a nudist's favourite alcoholic drink? A daiquiri."
"Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast."