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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."

"If GoT fans of Jon Snow are called Snowflakes, and the ones for Tirion are Tiriots, why is Arya the favorite character of Donald Trump supporters? They're Aryans."

"Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves."

"""Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?"" (Dalai Lama job interview)"

"Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a few minutes Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"I missed your birthday because I didn't log onto Facebook that day. #LetsBeReal"

"bowler hat on a donkey Do you know why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey? Because no one likes a smartass..."

"And God said, ""Let there be light""... ..and American beer turned into water. And it was bad."

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a drink."

"Don't ever compete against Heinz... You're always going to play catch up."