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Joke of the Day

"Why does Victoria beckham shave her twat? Because he can't be trusted with the razor."

"I'm a man trapped outside a woman's body."

"What do you call a pregnant stewardess? Pilot error"

"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."

"My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids"

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"I tried to get back to the drawing board but I can't draw."

"These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before."

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."

"Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more."