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Joke of the Day

"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."

"Why are black people so fast? Because all of the slow ones are in jail."

"Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills"

"How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar? With a chihuahua pedal."

"I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down."

"I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)"

"Hi, I'm black and I really can't stand it when my white friend doesn't answer my calls. They say old habits die hard, but some habits never die.. Like the white men leaving us hanging"

"Dude walks into a bar ...and drops dead from oxygen deprivation. It's a Mars bar."

"My girlfriend has a global map tattooed on her body She may have been a difficult person to deal with. But you always knew where you were with her."

"I'm agnostic. What happens when I die? Idk..."