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Joke of the Day

"I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)"

"Of all the lies I tell, ""I was just kidding!"" is my favorite."

"What I've learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh."

"Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!"

"He's going to change just for you? Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid"

"Never get a circumcision from an unqualified professional It's a rip off"

"Honey, can we eat the nougat ? ""Is it really hard ?"" ""Yes, but can we eat the nougat first ?"""

"His homebuilt e-cigarette vapor mod with banana custard glycerine is so sexy... Said no girl ever"

"My ears were ringing, so I pressed keys on the piano to find out what note it was. There was a B buzzing in my ears."

"Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car? Because she's a woman."