215897

Joke of the Day

"Ted Cruz announced he is running for president as a Republican. That surprised me; I thought he was running as a joke."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"Here's a broom go sweep the floors... 'Here's a broom go sweep the floors.' 'But I have a PhD...' 'Oh, I'm sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done.'"

"When they shoot scenes w stagecoaches in Westerns, I bet the horses think ""Hey wtf? We're not supposed to have to do this shit anymore"""

"Worried about hair loss? Just draw little rabbits on your head. From a distance they'll look like hares."

"Why do traffic lights never go swimming? Because they spend too much time changing."

"What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes? HOLY MACKAREL!"

"What happened to the little Dutch boy after he put his finger in the dyke? ...she shattered his jaw!"

"Why the hate for necromancers?T They're just trying to raise a family."

"Terminator sequels are just dialogue from the first Terminator in different order."