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Joke of the Day

"Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush."

"People who feel the Bern but don't like the sensation have been voting instead for Hillary.... ... or as they like to call her, Preparation H"

"[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition."

"How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center? None. They're old school."

"I was getting the kids out of the bath last night when a complete stranger burst through the door. I swear I've never moved faster down a drainpipe."

"My fairy godmother asked me if i wanted a long memory or a long penis... I don't remember what I said... ...but I have back problems now."

"Why did jimmy eat his Homework? Because the previous day, the teacher told her students; ""Don't worry guys, it's gonna be a piece of cake""."

"""Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine."""

"It was raining... The man blotting his wet shoes with newspapers, explained, ""These are The Times that dry men's soles."""

"How many meateaters does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they would rather stay in the dark"