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Joke of the Day

"I have a very obedient dog, whenever I tell him 'Are you coming with me or not?', he is coming with me. Or not."

"I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it."

"I have to hand it to Trump He's the only man to win an argument with a women"

"Dark humour is like a kid with cancer It never gets old Edit: Credits to /u/CookieDestroyer66 He da real MVP."

"Why should you eat your soup in a cup? So that it's not ebola soup."

"23. RT @Highlights: Parents, at what age do you think it's okay for a child to get his or her own cell phone?"

"Since wine is made from grapes its technically accurate to say I did a fruit juice cleanse for New Years Eve."

"You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes"

"Why is the Star Trek enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle your anus searching for cling-ons"

"I smoked weed to think of something funny to post [deleted]"