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Joke of the Day

"Why did the midget laugh while walking across the field? Because the grass tickled his balls."

"Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head? Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow."

"DEAR ENTIRE WORLD: LIGHTENING IS WHAT BLEACH DOES TO HAIR. LIGHTNING IS WHAT I'M GOING TO STRIKE YOU WITH FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST SPELLING."

"A platypus went into a hotel owned by a duck.. ..A platypus went into a hotel owned by a duck. Platypus ate food. Duck billed platypus"

"Have you see the movie constipation? No? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his tongue cut out by the mafia? Never mind. It's a tasteless joke."

"If ignorance is bliss then explain Facebook."

"My finger broke through the toilet paper so I dunked my hand in liquid nitrogen and shattered it with a hammer."

"I told my friend about the Muslim slave trade the other day... ""Dubai?"" He asked ""Yes, and sell"" I replied."