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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend gave me a bj in the dark... So she never seen me coming."

"2016 being a beast of a year really adds up! 666 + 666 + 666 + 6 + 6 + 6 = 2016"

"So I bought this cheap brand of toilet paper... They called it velvet soft. It should have been called James Bond 007. Because every time after I use it, I lift my hand up and I've got a GoldFinger."

"Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead"

"The abortion train just arrived at the station. ALL ABORT! *choo choo*"

"ShermanFury @ShermanFury, so clever...."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba dum tchhhh."

"I asked a comedian what performing in the Soviet Union was like. Apparently, back then, it was all about the execution."

"Why don't you ever see rich people wearing glasses? They're always around so many karats."

"I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about an Oscar He didn't get it."