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Joke of the Day

"Loan me a couple bucks? ""Sure"" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? ""..."" Can I even pay with these?"

"As a lubricated finger was pushed into my anus, I couldn't help but think... That this wasn't any ordinary vet."

"I thought about getting two pets and naming them One and Two. So when One dies, I'll still have Two."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, maan!"

"If there's Jenny and Lucy, could there be Jenni and Luci? Then wouldn't that make them Jennifer and Lucifer?"

"There was a time when men expected to be your lover without getting with your friends. That all changed in 1996. Let me tell you a story..."

"There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything that you know."

"Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent and appearance suggests that you hail from the southeast."

"What did Tupac say when his best friend died? No Biggie."