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Joke of the Day

"I went to the psychiatrist wearing only cling film. He said ""well, I can clearly see your nuts"""

"A dog walks into a bar..... Bartender comes over and asks....""why do you look so rough?"""

"What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending condescending"

"Q) What's the difference between love and hate? A) Usually about 6 months."

"My girlfriend asked, ""Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"" Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home."

"Just saw a cyclist put his hand out to indicate he was turning left when a lone pedestrian high fived him. I feel so good right now."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !"

"What's it like to have sex with a retard? SLOW and SPECIAL"

"Rhetorical questions confuse me If someone asks you something, you're supposed to answer them, right?"

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."