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Joke of the Day

"If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, ""Quit while your ahead""?!"

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis? One is used to kill brats, the other makes brats."

"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."

"Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It's open Mike night."

"Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !"

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead. So everyday, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic.."

"How do you tell if Donald Trump is in your house? I sas Donald Trump today in my house, he had a gun."

"Using a cellphone in 90's: ""he's prob a drug dealer"" Using a payphone today: ""he's prob a drug dealer"""

"Possessio is nine tenths of the word. [Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ej8EaLF382c)"