129013

Joke of the Day

"I'm surprised ABC hasn't resolved the Healthcare Crisis with a new reality show. Extreme Makeover: Universal Healthcare Edition."

"*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry"

"- Doctor, kiss me! - I can't. We, the doctors, follow a very strict work ethic that does not allow us to kiss our patients. Honestly speaking, I should have never even fucked you in the first place!"

"Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed? His wife didn't know any decent crackers."

"You know the difference between Lego and Sex? If you had to click, then... you'd better stick to Lego."

"My boyfriend broke up with me today He said he wanted to celebrate Independence day"

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba dum tss!"

"My mate went bald ten years ago and he still has his old comb that he used to use . He just cant part with it."

"Pooped without my phone this morning, just like Gandhi."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted."