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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"

"The first question aliens will ask our leaders is why that peanut is wearing a top hat and monocle."

"Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you."

"Some people are just meant for each other. A sadist married a masochist. The masochist would say, ""Beat me!""... The sadist would say, ""...no"""

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"(NSFW) What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your way into a girls butthole."

"*suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm"

"The Ford Escort was named after Henry Ford's love for high-priced hookers. Ironically, you'll have to pay for sex if you drive one."

"Missed connections: I was the guy in the Subaru listening to NPR; You were the river I briefly considered driving into."