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Joke of the Day

"*suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm"

"What do you call an effeminate Japanese man with radiation sickness, AIDS and hemorrhegic fever? Ebola Gay."

"I just met a girl named ellen she's the complete inverse of my e^(x)"

"They are writing a biography about my dick Ok. Ok. A pamphlet."

"Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane."

"Who's the most popular guy in the nudist camp? The one who can carry two cups of coffee AND a dozen donurs!"

"Owls are like scary Mr. Potato Heads that fly."

"Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key... @realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!"

"Every 5 seconds, somewhere on this planet a woman gives birth to a child. I think! We must find this woman and stop her."

"'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA."