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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your way into a girls butthole."

"Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down."

"A roman walks into a bar A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus The bartender asks ""don't you mean a martini?"" The Roman replies ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"""

"First time and with a hooker They are both naked and he says -""this is my first time..."" she says -""relax and tell me what you like..."" -""cheesburguer"""

"I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."

"1. Ice *check* 2. Ice *check* 3. Baby *calls 911* - Freezer Inspector -"

"Today I discovered my brother and I are both audiophiles... He came as soon as he heard."

"[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock... Whoops, wrong sub."

"I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients. It's called ""Shake & Bake""."