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Joke of the Day

"ME: My New Year's resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) ...vegetables."

"What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween? Depressed"

"There are two goldfish in a tank One fish turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive""."

"What did the Mexican firefighter call his son?? Jose"

"They said to get in touch with my feminine side. So I did, and my next paycheck was 22% less."

"What is the bibliophile's favorite website? Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up."

"Happy International Women's Day! Or as I like to call it, Taco Tuesday"

"A pregnant woman came in looking for a girly stroller So I kicker her in the stomach."

"*first astronaut lands on Mars* NASA: How does it feel son? Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band"

"Wheelchairs A perfect gift for that ""special"" someone."