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Joke of the Day

"[Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*"

"""Lady In Red"" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name."

"what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun"

"What's the difference between a kindergarten class and an ISIS camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"What do men and hardwood flooring have in common? Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!"

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?"

"Best yo momma joke? Your momma so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says ""stay over there"""

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light-bulb? You can un-screw the light-bulb"

"If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me."

"Divorced couples have two chromosomes. Ex and why."