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Joke of the Day

"Guess who i am I am a long object. You put me in your mouth and shake me. Then you either swallow or spit out white liquid . Yes, it is me your toothbrush"

"Girl, do you work at Arby's? Because you've got a roast beef pussy."

"Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"What's a homophobe's favorite drink? fruit punch"

"If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky... ... is she still your sister?"

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"My parents didnt take me seriously when i came out It was because i couldn't keep a straight face"

"Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour? CGI Friday's."

"So I asked my Dad, ""What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?"" ""Probably a tumor."""

"Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses? With breast tissue."