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Joke of the Day

"If a tattoo artist... If a tattoo artist does an absolutely perfect tattoo on only one butt cheek, is that still considered a half-ass job?"

"I've just started a band. We're called 1023MB. We haven't got a gig yet."

"Joke 1 - What weighs 15,000 pounds and wears glass slippers? Cinderellephant"

"Therapy Me: she never tells me anything Her: He doesn't listen Me: that's bs gimme an example Her: I'm 8 months pregnant Me: WHOA"

"""Will, you, Mary, Me"" -- invitation to an orgy."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."

"Wouldn't it be great if Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber hooked up... to one of Dr. Kevorkian's machines?"

"*buys 8 first class tickets, fills all of them with infants and toddlers* Me, from way back in coach: *cups hands* SUCK IT RICH PEOPLE"

"Just thought of way to discourage teenage smoking. Instead of saying ""Cancer"" on boxes replace it with the word ""Acne""."

"What causes the bird on a pirate's shoulder to repeat 'pieces of nine, pieces of seven, pieces of nine....'? Parity error."