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Joke of the Day

"Flowers: Because nothing says ""sorry a loved one passed away"" like something else that'll wither and die right in front of you"

"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"

"If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've said... I would be able to buy a Nigger"

"What do you call a necrophiliacs erection? Mourning wood."

"How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs."

"What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He received the gas bill."

"You've heard of ""helicopter parents"" but I had a ""boomerang father"". He was meant to come back but he never did."

"I haven't had anything to eat all year. It's 12:01 January 1st where I am"

"Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor? Because he had no arms or legs. Why? Because he is a potato."