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Joke of the Day
"I watched my first Porn the other day I looked so much younger back then!"
Next Joke
"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."
"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"
"McCain Will Buy Houses From Needy Owners Of Beachfront Mansions- ""If The Price Is Right"""
"Where does lonely soup go? To a brothel."
"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"
"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"
"I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like ""Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"""
"What's fun about having sex with twenty-one year olds? You know, there is twenty of them"
"CAT HOSPITAL Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital? A: To have a CAT scan done."