219908

Joke of the Day

"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"

"What's your favorite city in Thailand? Phuket, I don't know..."

"Bruce Springsteen isn't very good at math I don't think anyone's heard him count past the number 4 in years."

"What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? ""Thanks, I'll never part with it."""

"Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes."

"What do you call a puppy with a camera? A furtographer"

"Don't forget to stop and Instagram the roses."

"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."

"12 year old girls are an untapped market."

"I saw a sign yesterday that said, ""Have you seen this man?"" with a little picture of the criminal and a number to call. I was bored so I rung them up and said, ""No, I haven't."""