139968

Joke of the Day

"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"

"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."

"The opposite of ""Free Willy"" is ""Predestinationy."""

"What's the difference between a stingy neighbor and a cheap prostitute? One nickels and dimes you for screws while the other screws you for nickels and dimes."

"""I am un-punkable!"" - Justin Bieber, 2012. ""Mister Trump, I am a valuable asset to my team and shouldn't be fired."" - Justin Bieber, 2019."

"In the Super Mario Bros movie, instead of a gag reel, did they have... bloopers?"

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"Why is a nosey pepper so annoying? He's jalapeno business"

"If Donald Trump runs the U.S into the ground... He will have toupee"

"A man comes to the infodesk in a mall And says: ""Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"" ""Oh, sure"" The man leans towards the mike: ""I'm vegan"""