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Joke of the Day
"Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you..."
Next Joke
"What kind of bear dissolves in water? A polar bear."
"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"
"Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror."
"If you ever feel scared that someones watching you... Don't worry, i'm right under your bed if you need someone to talk to."
"[1st date] ""I'm really into roll playing,"" I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss."
"What do a dog and a near-sighted gynecologist have in common? They both have wet noses."
"Rooney and Iniesta meet at the airport of Rio ...suddenly Pirlo appears and asks ""What are you guys doing here?"" - ""Just waiting for Ronaldo"""
"On a scale of 1-10 how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About 9 3/4"
"A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed."