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Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam vets does it take the screw in a light bulb? THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW; BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"Knock knock Who's there? Dewt dew de dew dew Dewt dew do dew dew who? Menah Menah"

"me: [first gang practice] is snack time before or after the murders"

"Just thought to myself: If cars were people than taxi cabs would be whores. Then a crowded city bus drove by and I felt sick."

"How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian!"

"Never iron a four leaf clover... You don't want to press your luck."

"Canadian spelling is different from American spelling For example they spell the days of the week as Mondeh, Tuesdeh, Wednesdeh..."

"There's no better feeling than laying next to the person you love And they don't know you love them Or that you're in their house again"

"If Tom Cruise had an intervention to an addiction... They should call it ""Cruise Control."""

"Jesus Never Fails If Jesus was a program, he would never fail. Why? Because he was born in a stable environment."