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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't, they just shoot the room for being black. I guess you could say that was dark humor? ;)"

"Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me."

"A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats."

"Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo? they only had 2 trucks"

"What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung? a Guardian of the Galaxy"

"My head needed a pat down at airport & I said ""Oh cuz of my extensions!"" TSA lady snapped, ""Girl, hush. Your weave is between you and God."""

"I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fucking ugly..."

"My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex... Fanny she should say that!"

"I was going to make a pun about flexibility I decided not to because it was too much of a stretch."

"I hope that someday we can live in a world without plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one."