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Joke of the Day

"Him: This house is perfect for us! Her: What about the kids? Him: You're right. We'll have to put them up for adoption"

"A black guy walks into a police station in Florida and he never comes out."

"How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis? You tell me."

"Did you hear that they are building massive oscillating blades in New York? I wasn't a big fan of the idea"

"With Turkey shooting down that Russian plane.. I guess Putin will be cooking Turkey for thanksgiving.."

"GUY 1: Why can't we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born."

"I wonder if this whole Ebola thing is going to go viral Thoughts?"

"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."

"What did the hungry boss give his worker? Their celery!"

"How many? How many people making how many people does it take to change a light bulb take to change a lightbulb?"