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Joke of the Day

"Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas."

Next Joke
 
"I would not recommend eating at the new Star Wars themed restaurant... The burgers are chewy"
"How did the blind kid burn the side of his face? He answered the iron"
"My dad had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."
"""My wife's having a relationship with the Speaker of the House of Representatives"" ""Boehner?"" ""No, she assures me it's completely platonic."""
"""Can someone call me a doctor?!"" You're a doctor. ""Please I'm losing my patience!"" You're a terrible doctor."
"Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!"
"Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table."
"How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (Ovaries Z)"
"Not a joke, sorry, but I'm new to this subreddit... Does this subreddit actually have 36 million ""humorists"" or is that a joke? If so, I don't get it."