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Joke of the Day

"Man: Who are you? God: Your god. Man: What's your name? God: I can't tell you. Man: No way! God: Jahweh! Man: God: Doh!"

"The bartender asks him what he'd like to drink. A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Dad: ""Go to your room now!"" Child: *storms off* ""Jim Morrison was overrated!"" Dad: ""What did I tell you about slamming the Doors?!"""

"I nearly dropped my game of scrabble It could've spelled disaster if I actually did"

"My mate borrowed 20 grand for plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he looks like."

"My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over."

"I named my penis 'secret'... ...Strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi A Catholic priest and a Rabbi were walking along when they saw a young boy. The Priest said to the Rabbi: ""We should fuck him."" The Rabbi replied: ""Out of what?"""

"Legs spread faster than lies these days"

"What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection? If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it."