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Joke of the Day

"Man: Who are you? God: Your god. Man: What's your name? God: I can't tell you. Man: No way! God: Jahweh! Man: God: Doh!"

"Any woman who chooses to have sex with me, gets the short end of *that* transaction."

"I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade"

"I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old. I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor."

"I have almost 120,000 miles on my office chair."

"The 2016 election What a joke, am I right?"

"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said..... ""Sorry, my fault."""

"Elephant circumcision... ...The pay's rubbish but the tips are enormous."

"Husband is leaning dangerously out of window whilst he cleans it. Only thing stopping me from shoving him out is that he cleans the windows"

"Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating... ""My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a condom."" ""Because she was on the pill."" ""Ambien."""