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Joke of the Day
"I've always wanted to rewrite history but couldn't decide on the font.."
Next Joke
"A British man asked to his friend, ""How many seats are there in the van?"" ""More than the Lib Dems."""
"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"
"Putting the dog down today. Gonna start by telling him he has a big nose."
"If I don't get my IBS and anger issues figured out... I'm going to lose my shit."
"I was looking for the sun at night, and then it dawned on me."
"What's the best thing about having Parkinson's? Never having to buy another electric toothbrush."
"took a girl to starbucks because i forgot her name"
"Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way."
"Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves."