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Joke of the Day

"Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves."

"A sandwich walks into a bar And orders a drink. The bartender says : ""sorry sir, we don't serve food""."

"I hate church with all the sitting, standing, and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Why do people hate playing uno with Mexicans? They keep stealing green cards."

"I'll bet Timmy would never have fallen down that well if his parents would've coughed up the money for a HUMAN instead of a dog babysitter."

"Angel: ""I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."" God (clearly upset about something else): ""NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."""

"A pirate made a spoof about his bird. It was Parroty"

"If you don't eat your candy corn in three separate bites starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, you're a communist."

"A recent study has shown you should NOT vaccinate kittens It increases their risk of awww-tism"

"What is Gordon Ramsay's favourite film? It's fucking Frozen."