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Joke of the Day

"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."

"What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he's raping someone? ""Come with me if you want to live!"""

"Bill Clinton is so exited about the possibility of being in the White house again, He too has started wearing a hat on the campaign trail. It says : Make America fellate again."

"You can't afford a bar of soap, but Beer,, Cigarettes,, & $700 worth of tattoos is not a problem?.. This is why sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for most people"

"Alcohol goes in, truth comes out."

"Escalator Literature. a step by step guide to reaching new levels"

"I call my husband current... He likes it better than number two."

"What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali? Too soon"

"I went to an all you can eat vegetarian restaurant There was a woman there who claimed that she knew me but I swear I never seen herbivore."