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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about having Parkinson's? Never having to buy another electric toothbrush."

"Q.How Do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 simple steps A.Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge"

"Neighbor: Yard sale huh? How much's mower? Me: $50 Him: Wait! That's the one you borrowed from me! Me: $20 Him: Its a $500 mower! Me: ..$100"

"A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles."

"If you believe in stereotypes then your brain is as small as a Korean's penis"

"When birds fly in V formation why is one side longer than the other? They have more birds on that side. #scienceded"

"If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger"

"Documentaries not only expand my world views, but also compel me to change my behavior for a solid 24-36 hours."

"I got an email from a prince in Africa saying I inherited 100,000 dollars. But my computer just says i got a virus... I hope it's not Ebola"

"[Very Racist] What is the difference between a black person and a bench? One can support a family of four."