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Joke of the Day

"Paris Hilton picked up the new Galaxy Note 7.... That's Hot."

"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"Turned on TV and heard people talking about grinding, pumping & hole filling. Sadly, it was just CNN."

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."

"What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer."

"An Englishmen, a Scotsman and a Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go."

"I'm gonna stand outside a strangers house tonight with a lit candle & tell them it's in remembrance of all the people I killed there."

"A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"Do you want to hear a bad joke? *my life* Sorry if that was not likeable and miserable, *just like my face* Okay, I am going to stop before it gets too dark and too empty, *just like my soul.*"

"Why is the oval office oval shaped? Because the government cuts corners."