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Joke of the Day

"Damn boy, is your name Dulcolax because you irritate the shit out of me."

"I can tell the way my kids inherited my sarcasm by the way I want to punch them in the face every time they use it."

"I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man."

"What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed? ""So ve it."""

"What did the prostitute say after fucking Jesus? Nailed it!"

"Blind people Gotta hand it to them."

"Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores? Because slavery is illegal."

"Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!"

"[God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what'd i do last night? [sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea"

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."